Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Sofa Rating=10

Dear Sofa,

My ass never knew how much it would miss your comfy cushions or your plush softness every time I sat on you to enjoy my favorite shows. 

You were a great sofa and never once complained about the time I inconsiderately dropped an alcoholic beverage on you and was to drunk to properly clean it up.  Or when friends brought their children over to visit and some of them smeared grape jelly on your arm rests.  

I will never forget our late afternoon naps together and how you would turn a blind eye to my unconscious drooling over your BFF "the throw pillow."

I have tried to find other replacements in the past weeks, but none can come close to your cozy and pleasant demeanor.

Sofa fails:

1.  A case of Water Bottles from Costco.  (Comfort Level 2) -  Although it's shape reminds me of one of your snug cushions, it alas is not as "ass friendly" as it deceptively appears to be.

2.  The Floor.  (Comfort Level 3)- there are many positions that can be obtained with such a large space;  Indian style, laying flat on your stomach, laying flat on your back, sitting with your legs straight out in front of you, or even lying on your stomach with your arms propping up your head..  but none of them are to comfortable for long periods of time.

3. A stack of books.  (Comfort Level 1)-  I think the picture says it all.  

4.  Trying to combine an Air Mattress and sitting Indian style.  (Comfort level 5.5) - This is actually not to bad, but an air mattress lacks any kind of back support.

5.  A bag full of clothes. (Comfort Level 6) - The wall gives some back support, and the clothes can be adjusted for premium ass comfort, but it still isn't the same.

I miss you sofa, and I promise not to take you for granted the next time I see you.


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